lyrics
Hello there, my name is Matthew
In response to reviewers and listeners complaining
that his music is often of acquired taste
Aleksi has hired me to explain every
turn and twist of his latest song
We just started with an only slightly atypical
endlessly repeating square bass ostinato
Ironic C major triad, the father of all chords
Followed by a D major triad, anchoring a Lydian feel
Building some larger chords to a hint that
there's perhaps more in the bassline than meets the ear
Aleksi wasn't too happy with that last chord
It should have been more resonant voicing
in the upper range
Here we have a Juno arpeggiator
backed by glass pipe chords
One must simply quite enjoy
these added tribal finger cymbals
playing a traditional pattern
We have brought back the bassline
I can say that wasn't a surprise
for me at least
Anyway, you should have
the chords stuck in your head by now
so we can move on to the main melody
And on to the main melody we go
which is formed by some traditional buzzing techno sounds
inspired by presumably the mid-1990's
while the bass ostinato moves to a lower frequency
Featuring Nina from Copenhagen on the left channel
while on the right channel the Finnish wonder Pia
whom Aleksi randomly met
at Koko Jazz Club one night
Apologies if I'm pronouncing Pia incorrectly
It is spelled papa-indigo-alpha
While comfortably looping
we introduce here some new sounds
and an alternative harmonization
Bells and finger cymbals with the harmonized voice
that is now transposed into a low gnarling sound
The arpeggiator notes are now voiced closer
just running hexatonic scales up and down
Back to the buzzing melody alone for a second
Now for a tribute
Can you tell which these ping pong balls
on a toy xylophone
playing mathematical ornamentation
in the background show respect to?
The answer is of course
the great British animator Cyriak
Pasila, Porilaisten marssi
This element of the song is presumably
to provoke a parodical military fanfare
to ridicule all of the world's armed forces
It could also be insighted to ridicule
all of the world's national sports teams
and presidency
Imagine there's no country
Absolutely no religion too
Ah, the only song Aleksi can sing in karaoke
This orchestral cymbal symbolizes
the bashing of all idols
and clashing of all clans
Nina imitating a trumpet
Do you eat meat?
Or drink from a cow's tit?
Because if you do you are
either cruel or a stupid resource waster
Go vegan, you are a worthless sub-human monster
Some simple maths for you
The Earth has resources
for either 5 billion idiots
or 20 billion vegans
If this single sells more than 20 copies
or gets more than 1000 Spotify plays
then an instrumental version
which I suppose won't include me
will appear on Aleksi's next album
Listen carefully, because now Aleksi reveals
the hidden passing chords, which were built
into the bassline from the very beginning
Maybe you heard them there already
Zills, giddyup, giddyup
What's the synthesizer you're using
What a clever trick muting the delays at first repeat
Cliche large opening chords
Playing around the newly discovered tonal field
with the arpeggiator and the noisy low bass
Low bass doubled by the square bass
for additional clarity and determination
We know this harmonic space now, don't we
So let's just repeat after me
Mega Juno chords
C major triad
B minor add 9
D major add 11
F#7 sus 4
C add 9
B minor add 9
D major triad
F#7 sus
C add 13/11
D major 7 add 13
D9
F# minor 7 add 11
And so on
Be prepared for the second melody line
Introducing the second melody
Easy sing-along kind of one
just emphasizing
the top notes of each chord
Nina singing on the left channel
Pia singing on the right channel
Bringing in the arpeggiator
this time with a sawtooth synth
If this dreamy melody evokes a feeling of any kind
it's coming purely out of you, not out of the music
It's a technical creation
arising from the tonal materials
that happened to be there already
It has no real meaning
or purpose
Pinja playing the beautiful cello line
in this very culmination point of the story
The greatest tuba of art theory
Rebirth, catharsis
Now actually the bass is for the first time
playing the actual chord roots
This should create the impression
of an opening door
which was closed for over seven minutes
10% of the general population
are not known to recognize this kind
of harmonic movement
and another 5% percent are known
to over-analyze them
Those who properly over-analyze it
will recognize that it is a toilet door
30 dB of sound-proofing
and automatic lights off after 5 minutes
Distorted synth leads here
through too long Russian string reverb
It's supposed to be so huge
that it leaves everything else underneath
Hopefully the mixing engineer
won't turn it down too much
More and more
In a mix there's always room
for some piccolos and castanets
There was trouble finding
proper zill sounds that still cut through this part
Miami, Porilaisten marssi
Next item from the slowly emptying bag of tricks
is an ironic Miami Vice snare
At the same time we added a running octave bass
which is the real face of the synthesizer
And a tummy slapping percussion loop there
Did you know that you're not allowed to be
listening to Aleksi's music while driving a tank
or while grilling and chilling on a hill watching
missiles hit your neighbouring country
Miami, Porilaisten marssi
Here the running octave bass takes a bigger role
building the last mutation of the harmony
for an appropriate out-of-this-world finale
Pia and Nina singing the newly mutated melody line
on their own channels
A sudden, high, ghostly note in the backing
round Moog voice
Again, the arpeggiator makes it stronger
Quietly backed by some kitchy, korgish, rhytmic bells
Feel the blocks move into your head
The Miami rototoms playing a rhythmic-melodic
countermotif with a hidden message
Can you decode it?
The first real note in a composition is actually
the one that establishes a new tonal center
Before that there is no music in music
Oh, one of my favorite musicians
Logic X Alternative Drummer Zak playing
the Three Chords preset on Detroit Garage Kit
on the middle channel
Oh, we're having to leave soon, I'm afraid
because iTunes singles and Abbey Road digital
mastering services have an arbitrary
and unnecessary 10 minute limits
Eurovision modulation
Just kidding
Logic X R'n'B Drummer Rose playing the New Soul preset
on Slow Jam Kit on the left channel
Panning from left to right is Mercedes-Benz
A Class model 2005 accelerating from 0 to 150 km/h
Logic X Rock Drummer Max playing the Amped Up preset
on East Bay Kit on the right channel
with 24 dB per octave high-pass filter at 750 Hz
Pure square wave doubling
and distorted lead synth
falling down to the last note
of this song
credits
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